


Rogue Renegade (Renegade Series: Rogue One)

by CallaMae



Series: Renegade Series [2]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/M, Tragedy, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-04
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-14 15:29:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9189413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallaMae/pseuds/CallaMae
Summary: This wasn't the plan. The salvation Galen Erso promised couldn't be this wide-eyed pilot with trembling hands. But what did Eris know, she'd never had a plan before. OC





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello readers. Welcome to the story idea I had after watching Rogue One. You can either read this as its own solo story or as a continuation of my Renegade Series, there will be no references other than a namesake.

She was a pale waif of a woman. Starved thin, worn ragged - rag and bone. Bodhi busily moved around her as she slowly examined his rusted shuttle with a curious piercing stare.  
"Have you ever been in a cargo ship?" he asked stooping to check something here or fix something there. It needed to pass inspection, that day was not the day for a mistake.

"No," was her simple answer.

His trembling hands paused as he turned to where she stood now watching him. She, was a mistake. He didn't remember how Galen Erso had talked him into bringing her, if Galen had done more than ask. It was a blur. "You got a name?" he asked shuffling past her, finding that she stood only a spare few meters shorter.

"Yes."

Her eyes were back on the ship, or rather the cargo. She walked without touching, as if knowing better. But her interest was clear in the way her fingers played along the frayed hem of her oversized gray shirt. In a short while she knelt behind the nervous pilot leaning against his chair watching the world fly past.

Several minutes earlier he'd turned looking for a toggle and startled at her blonde head by his elbow: she'd moved without sound. It further solidified his need to be rid of her, this quiet still woman. He'd agreed to carry her to Jedha, nothing else had been asked of him nor had anything else been given. Was she trustworthy? Would she hurt him? Why was she in Imperial uniform - granted it was the uniform of a labor worker but her shirt bore the same insignia as his own?  
"You can sit there," he said without turning, jerking his head to the chair beside his. "Be my copilot."

"It's not my place."

He looked at her then, in surprise at her quick admittance. How many times it must've been engrained into her – that she was nothing. If not for the fire in her eyes he might've mistaken the softness in her voice for belief. "Bodhi," he said suddenly. He met her sharp stare before quickly turning back to the console.

She found him just as curious. He was a small man with the face of a boy, narrow shoulders, flaccid spine. This Bodhi didn't leave her expecting much. But he was here still. "Eris." Her stare didn't waver as he turned wide-eyed, a twitching grin before he ducked his head and turned away. And still she looked at him – thinking nothing, and everything, of him.

"We're almost there," he told her releasing a shaky breath. This moment would decide his fate, if he made it past this he could do it, if not he was dead. He wasn't ready, they should've talked this through, made a plan. "They'll check everything, make sure everything's accounted for and nothing more. You can't, Eris-" He'd turned and she was gone. No goodbye, not a sound, as if she hadn't been there at all.

It left him standing outside the shuttle bouncing on the balls of his feet waiting for her to be dragged between two troopers flailing and kicking. How well could he lie? He'd never seen her before, she must've snuck in when the cargo was unloaded, maybe she paid someone to help her. Could he do it?

With a tremor in his spine he listened to the dull clanking of boots on the ramp, and holding his breath he watched as they descended empty handed. A distorted voice behind a dark helmet gave the, "all clear," and Bodhi released a heavy breath smiling briefly. He was quick to straighten, glancing around him for any sign of suspicion.

He climbed back in and set his course for home. It was decided, he was doing this, really truly defecting. Not only that, but actively turning against the Empire. Something he'd once thought he could only dream and even then it didn't end well. But this, he could do this. They.

Sliding out of the pilot's chair he peeked down the hall for a flash of yellow. He crept further glancing at every crack and corner, working his way to the lower level and still finding nothing. Though he did find an understanding, she'd been looking for a place to hide. "Eris?" he called quietly, as if a stormtrooper might suddenly appear to say they'd known all along.

"I'm here."

Her voice had been a whisper behind him. No foreign hand touching his shoulder to startle him, no sudden noise as she climbed out of wherever she'd crammed herself. Just a soft breath of a response and he turned unafraid to find her against the wall waiting. "We'll be there soon," he said turning back to the ladder to pilot the shuttle again, now that he'd found her.

Following him she asked, "where?"

"Jedha."

His answer was lost on her, but she'd see soon enough. She knelt beside him as he fluttered about weighing her options. She didn't remember home and all she knew was how to be a servant of the Empire, she couldn't leave. The planet was a desert, more than that it was Empire run so she couldn't stay. Way she saw it there was one option. "Do you know where to find this man?"

"Saw Gerrera?" he asked looking down at where she sat on the cold metal floor. He bit his tongue to keep from offering the chair next to him again. "Jedha's in a war between the Empire and anar- uh," he broke off realizing there was no obligation to those words. "The rebels. They'll lead us to Saw Gerrara." He took a steadying breath turning to her. "And you, where will you go? You must've dreamt of this a hundred times."

"And more," she agreed, seeing his faint grin that flickered in and out like a star too shy to shine. At the way the ship vibrated beneath her she curled further against the chair knowing they were landing.

He stood ushering her down the ladder, hearing the loud hiss of air as the cargo door opened. There wasn't much time now, he should've told her to hide instead of asking her where she'd go – as if the answer was anything other than away. With heavy breaths he turned to Eris, not having the time or the mind to realize for the first time he hadn't thought of her as extra cargo, to find her climbing into a narrow vent on the wall. Of course, the ventilation system. A breath left him as a smile pulled at his mouth and quickly fell as he turned back to the doors.

Eris bent awkwardly chest over legs in the tight space hearing the thud of heavy boots on metal and seeing a glimpse of dark helmets moving passed. Only a few minutes, she told herself unable to expand her chest to get enough air to call it breathing. Only a few minutes. Over and over she told herself this, anytime now. Because really, anytime now they'd pass by her again. And she could breathe.

When the shuttle was cleared Bodhi knew where to go, and though she didn't need it he still grabbed her legs helping her down. "You never said where you'll go," he said as she turned to him, realizing all at once her face bore innumerous freckles and that they might soon be parting ways. And he didn't want to.

She shrugged. "I don't know anything else," she answered following him toward the door.

"Oh," he breathed marching down the ramp onto the streets, "that makes it harder. I'm sure I can come up with-" he once more turned to find her disappeared. Quickly he scanned the area around him for her pale hair before stepping back onto the ship. He found her standing a little to the left of the ramp wide eyed and dazed as she stared at the new world. "Come on," he urged. "Quickly now before we're noticed." He beckoned to her and turned checking to see no one was watching.  
Looking back he found her rooted, and he honestly thought of leaving her. Maybe she didn't want to go. But he gave a distressed sigh and walked back to where she stood. "Eris we have to go," he told her, a slight tremor in his voice. They were taking too long.

She turned to him and he was met with the same grim closed off face he'd met when Galen introduced them, the same guarded stare. But the rise and fall of her chest was rapid, her eyes were too wide, her jaw wired shut. Bodhi had mistaken this for calm, had thought her brave. She was scared. Scared the same way he was.

Whether it be his understanding of her uncertainty or his own fear, he wasn't leaving her. Swallowing he took a breath and held his hand out in offering. She noted its shaking and looked back up to him, he was an easy read and she found him to be good. Reaching that conclusion she took his hand. Though her grip was sturdy she looked to him for guidance, and he with the stuttering palms gave her a small nod of assurance.  
Together they stepped from the ship holding fast to one another.


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn't supposed to be like this. They were to find Saw Gerrera's men, inform them of the need for a meeting, they would be escorted with urgent haste to the man himself and give him the message. Bodhi was not to be left with his ears ringing from a sudden sharp blow to the head, his hands were not to be tied, they were not to be dragged in the frigid desert forced at a pace they couldn't match surrounded on all sides by silent foreboding men with cruel hands pulling them along. From what Bodhi had told her, from the way his continued pleading fell on deaf ears, Eris didn't think this was the plan.

But what did she know, she'd never really had a plan before.

Whether it be the pitiful state the Empire had left her, or the revealing tattered labor clothes, a blanket had been wrapped around her and a firm hand had latched onto her arm pulling her alongside the bound pilot. Their gentleness to her was seen only by their unwillingness to tie her already cuff-bruised wrists, she was just as much a captive propelled at a pace she couldn't keep.

Her breathing was ragged, for some all they could hear was her wheezing as even her lungs fell behind. Every so often her quivering legs would give out and her knees would scrape the sand as she was literally dragged along. Compassion was shown in the uncaring fingers that fisted her hair pulling her back to her aching feet, where she would walk several steps and stumble again. Eris wondered, scalp burning, if by the end of this she'd have any hair left to pull.

After another useless attempt at an appeal Bodhi craned his neck to look over his shoulder at where Eris was marched behind him, the hooded man holding her had slowed only slightly to give her a reprieve. She looked worse than before, her skin taking on a sallow sickly shade as she shivered beneath a thin blanket, unable to tell if she was breathing or whining as she lost her footing. "Hey," he called seeing the scarved figure beside her grab her by the hair and hoist her back up. He lost his own ground when the men on either side of him gave a harsh jerk and he was thrown forward no longer able to see her.

After an interminable time their small unit slowed converging with another group of revolutionaries, these were soldiers with their cannons or bandoliers and detonator belts. And at the forefront darkly dressed was a Tognath; skull-like head, respirator fitted over half his face, and eyes that looked like empty sockets. "So you're-you're Saw Gerrera?" Bodhi asked. There was a snicker.

Eris sank to her knees at the long needed pause, her shoulder straining as her arm was held letting her rest for the moment being. Her head drooped low over her heaving chest, messy hair falling over her eyes. Bodhi was pleading again, worried and irritable, but still none listened. "Hey!" he cried as a hood was pulled over his head, catching on the goggles perched on his forehead, and then down over his mouth. "Hey-we're all on the same side, if you just see past the uniform for a minute."

Behind his panicked ramblings the Tognath nodded to the slumped small figure on the ground. "Is she with him?"

The man holding her arm shrugged yanking her up. The sharp movement had her heavy head falling back showing she'd fallen unconscious several moments before. Her face was made innocent by sleep, her perpetual scowl smoothed showing beneath her prematurely lined face her youth.

Rough hands lifted her from the ground, an arm cradled behind her knees, generosity shown by the blanket pulled over her face protecting her vulnerable skin from the harsh sun. Time passed unknown to her, long were the minutes she knew nothing, but the seconds were fleeting that her lashes dragged against the thin fabric as she blinked wondering where she was – wondering where Bodhi was, she couldn't hear his voice. But those moments left her as quickly as they'd come.

…

Awareness was forced on her as she was carelessly dropped to the hard dirt-packed ground, her knees striking the stone as a rude hand encircled her arm keeping her upright. The blanket was torn away and she looked from the orange sun baked clay to the dark clothed battle scarred soldiers and to the barren walls around them. Until her gaze fell upon a thin trembling figure to her right with a hood still pulled tight over his head. The small passing of air through her chapped lips at the sight of him was unknown to her, as was the rush of relief – she thought it was the warmth of the enclosed walls.

A rhythmic metal clanking echoed through the chamber, like a fired piston, like a heavy metal step. "Lies!" a hoarse, ghostly, voice bellowed. "Deceptions!" She ducked slightly as if to protect against the reverberation of fury in that terrible rasping voice. She saw first the crudely made leg and cane that scraped along the ground, then the tattered cloak dusting the dirt, looking up she recoiled at the sight of the dark armor over broad shoulders – at the familiarity of it though it was dusty and aged. This couldn't be the Republic, this man couldn't be on the side of good not when he looked so much the opposite. A half man. "Bodhi Rook. The cargo pilot. Local boy," he scoffed stepping closer. "Anything else?"

Eris realized something, as the Tognath relinquished the holochip taken from Bodhi: she had let herself be dragged across an endless desert to face a sight that would surely be her last for a boy she whose last name she hadn't known, whose home she hadn't realized they'd come to. He was a stranger to her. And yet, hunched and shaking beside her, she wanted to tuck him away and run from all this.

"I can hear you." His exclamation burst forth demanding attention. "You made your point. I'm scared, you made me scared, but he didn't capture me – I came here myself. I defected."

Under different circumstances his words might've made her smile, that regardless of the persistent nervousness in his tone he meant every word – his fear, his choice. He had such fragile bravery, she wanted to harbor it.

The half man didn't agree, couldn't see past the tell tale symbol on the boy's shirt. "Lies," he proclaimed again. "Every day, more lies."

"Lies?" Bodhi repeat, his voice raised nearly to a scream. It drew Eris' surprised gaze at the strength his meek voice was capable. "Would I risk everything for a lie? We don't have time for this. I have to speak to Saw Gerrera before it's too-"

Eris watched as the sack was yanked from his head wondering if his once sweet fearful eyes would be steeled to match the spit-fury of his voice, his mouth pulled tight, his teeth bared: if he'd look like every other man consumed by anger and self righteousness. But his eyes were wide, red rimmed and glistening. Even in strength he was still small.

"That's for you," Bodhi said nodding to the holochip pinched between Saw's fingers. "And I gave it to them, they did not find it. I gave it to them." That had to mean something, his words, this choice it was _right_. He'd done the right thing. The girl, Eris, she was his affirmation; she believed him. "Galen Erso. He told me to find you." Please believe me, he urged.

There was a long harsh drag of artificial breathing, a familiar terror often accompanied by pain. The two with the spoked crests adorning their uniforms flinched at the horror they were suddenly struck. "Bor Gullet," Saw Gerrera rasped. He watched the young man, the pilot, be lifted from the ground muttering uselessly for mercy the men holding him no longer had. And then, as the hood was forced back over his head as he was dragged away, he yelled and begged. And it didn't do him any good.

The boy's hand was shown, a holochip, his quivering fear and self doubt. The girl, she wasn't so easy. Her displeasure at the boy being taken was clear in her cold shifting eyes, but her face was stone. She was still, measured, calculating – she showed nothing. Her having been a slave to the Empire did not excuse her, Saw Gerrera had no compassion to offer. "Show me your hands," he commanded, his voice quiet from the airlessness of it.

Obediently she held her hands out to him; to show she had nothing in them, to prove in her steady palms she would not be shaken. Eris didn't know. Steadfast she remained as he took a clanking step forward, the end of his metal staff grazing her bended knee, and pulled the sleeves down on her arms revealing the slender purpled wrists. It was easier to see, looking upon her from above, the dark tired circles around her eyes, the sunken-ness of her cheeks.

His resolve did not waver. "Did Galen Erso give you a message as well?" The softness of his voice was an illusion, there was no softness left in him.

"The man did not give me his name," she admitted, calling to mind an aged man's patient and stern face as he silently lead her to the cargo bay. "Only his word."

"And what did he promise you?"

"Freedom," was her simple answer.

Saw's head tilted just slightly as he appraised this curious young woman. There was her fire, burning in the pale blue of her eyes. She would not be moved, not for any man – never again. "Tell me, child," he bid her more gently, releasing her hands where she folded them over her lap, "are you willing to fight for your freedom?"

There were many things she didn't know, that she hadn't the privilege or means to learn, but she knew this: he wanted her to join him. To fight. What a thought that was, her hands on those weapons, her festering rage finally unleashed. But her eyes drifted to the hall Bodhi had been taken down, his echoing pleas long since silenced, and the fire in her didn't feel so much like righteous anger but of mourning. For the first time in her life, as far as she could remember, she'd had every choice to make and no one to stop her. But there'd been something in his ever-worried face, his narrow hunched shoulders – and she'd chosen him.  
"I'll fight for his."

Saw Gerrera laughed darkly, a dry wheezing chuckle. Pulling at the mask hung on his breastplate he inhaled sharply, watching her unchanging face. "Stick with that boy and you'll never be free," he told her. A promise.

"Is there not a certain freedom in knowing that?"

Another breath he took, giving her those few measured seconds to decide if that was truly what she wanted. Her heavy stare was unwavering, she'd come to him already firmly decided.


	3. Chapter 3

The cell was cold and dark, empty save a few molded stones that one might sit on. Eris was curled on one such stone, near enough to the door but far enough she couldn't be touched, pressed against the wall by a small window of bars exposing the vacant cell on the other side.  
Out of pity, or perhaps bribery Eris didn't know, a chipped plate had been shoved through the bars along with the offering of a cracked seeping cup of dirty water. Eris didn't hesitate to guzzle it, a thin stream dripping down her chin and soaking into the collar of her shirt. A frightening alien with black eyes allowed her another cup, she knew she wouldn't get a third. Taking the tray and moving back to her stone in the corner she took another large gulp.

It was then, warm water held on her dry tongue, she remembered Bodhi – he wouldn't be given the same courtesy. Though it left her throat tight and parched she trusted herself with another sip before placing the cup on the floor away from her.  
The food was another matter. It was some sort of formed mush that when cupped in her fingers began to fall apart. Taste was nothing to her, she'd never had the privilege of eating anything "good". Hunger was everything. She stared mournfully at the half she'd left Bodhi licking the remnants from each finger. In a moment of weakness she scooped another bit into her cupped hand and hesitated, if she ate again she didn't know if she'd stop. Her stomach clenched in starvation.

Clanking metal had her dropping the mush back onto the tray and turning with the expectation of Saw Gerrera's dark intimidating form. The door to her cell was forced open with a loud screech and a narrow shaking form was tossed carelessly to the cold floor. She dropped the tray at the sight of the work goggles before he'd curled into a ball and shrunk into himself.

"What did you do to him?" she demanded, her tone one part concerned and two parts vicious. No answer of course was given, leaving her to kneel over him. "Bodhi," she said, her voice a gentle breath. He flinched at her hand on his shoulder winding himself into a tighter knot. "Bodhi," she said louder, more firm.  
She crawled over him to find his face, pulling at the arms he'd brought up to protect himself. "Do you remember me?" she asked but how could he. They were strangers.

He whimpered screwing his eyes shut so as not to see. His mind was a million fractured pieces, unable to connect thought, to understand. At first he'd thought it was the Bor Gullet back to steal his mind again with a slimy painful touch on his shoulders, his temples, his neck. But these hands held him fast, secure, the voice was light though he had trouble with the words. He remembered her in pieces: steady, quiet, freckles, cold blue, pretty, afraid. "Yellow," he croaked opening his eyes.

Eris stared down at him in wonder, and ache. He couldn't be gone there was so much she wanted to ask, how was she supposed to know what to do without him. "Bodhi," she whispered again, but the name struck no memory in him. Releasing a disheartened sigh she pulled at the end of her shirt and began wiping the sweat from his face, her spirits too low to realize he wasn't flinching at her touch anymore.

Moving him was a challenge, he wasn't limp and pliable but rather a tight knot of arms and legs recoiling at every breath and scrape against the ground – it was lost on her that each flinch was to press further against her, because she was yellow and yellow was safe.  
She maneuvered him onto the stone in the corner, leaning him against the wall but away from the bars to the next cell. For someone so small he was surprisingly heavy, that or her arms had thinned to the point of weak. She preferred him to be heavy. Sitting back she watched him curl his knees to his chest staring wide-eyed and mindless at the ground between them, his lips working over mumbled incoherent words.

Eris thought for sure the water would touch something in his broken mind, he hadn't been carried the last half of the way, he must have been thirsty. But he made no move, he didn't even acknowledge it. So she held the cup to his mouth and let him move past the initial startle until he was eagerly lapping. He drained the cup dry and still his throat bobbed aching for more, a feeling she knew. Gently she wiped her sleeve over his chin catching the water that had dripped from the corners of his mouth.

Food was a separate matter entirely. There was no spoon, no form to the slop so that she could shovel it. Instead she was left using cupped fingers that she brought to his mouth, using her other hand to pull his chin so that she could actually feed him. She was glad when his jaw began to work chewing, she wasn't gonna do that for him as well. For a long while she sat at his side scooping little bits of the watery mush into his now expecting mouth, feeling every so often the sudden foreign warmth of his tongue on her skin looking for more. When there was nothing left she closed his mouth and set about cleaning the dried crusted bits at the corners, swiping the pad of her thumb on her tongue for moisture. In doing so she let herself look at his small angular face, a thin sharp nose, a sharper jaw, endearingly wide eyes – he had a good face. A shame this was his circumstance.

Finished she shoved the plate away, wiped her spit-dampened hands on her pants, and sat with her back against the wall next to him. Without his direction she was left wondering what to do. They might be left to rot, given to the Imperials for compensation, tortured for more information, killed – or, Saw Gerrera might ask if she'd changed her mind about fighting. If that came to pass she would agree, become a mercenary, maybe with time and trust have Bodhi released and he could join them as well though not as a soldier of course. That could be her life, she could live with that, she could live that way.

It was in these thoughts she heard other voices demanding release the same way Bodhi had, the shuffling of many feet, the grumble of irritation. Eris froze: her knees to her chest where with her back against the cold wall she felt a tremor in the stone as the cell next to them was opened and at least two men were forced in. She slowed her breathing so as to make less sound, she didn't swallow the saliva draining to the back of her throat, didn't turn her head to try to see through the grate Bodhi was beside, she didn't tense in preparation of attacking. No noise did she make when every noise was a betrayal.

She waited. There was a man at the door, his feet she heard scuffing. And another man, larger heavier, skulking at the back of the cell. Eris didn't know if there were another, as far as she knew they were only two. Bodhi shook next to her rocking back and forth, his mumbled breaths too soft to be overheard. They may go unnoticed, and for now that was the plan – the only advice the man she assumed was Galen Erso had given was that most people would hate Bodhi for the insignia he bore. If that were true, and so far it was, they needed to remain unknown.

"Who's the one in the next cell?"

Her heart stuttered, that didn't take long. Heavy feet shuffled toward the wall. "What? Where?" came a deep angry voice closer to the metal grate. In the shadows of the cell adjacent sat a huddled figure shifting awkwardly in a dark uniform, though on his shoulder clearly seen was a spoked symbol. "An Imperial pilot," the angry man snarled.

"What pilot?" came a softer, thicker accented voice.

"Imperial." Another pause as the distance was measured between the ragged pile and the bars between them. "I'll kill him," he growled.

Eris lunged curling herself around Bodhi until she was between him and the wall, wrenching the violent stranger's arm painfully back through the bars. The sound that tore from the back of her throat in warning was closer to a growl and she looked an animal: eyes glittering, teeth bared, breaths coming in deep angry pants as she crouched over the incoherent boy now behind her.  
An aged hateful man with faint scars lining his sun-darkened face glowered working his sore arm gauging how best to attack. Beside him a smaller man came into view his face intent with purpose. "Back off," he told the large fanatic aiming for insistence rather than a threat. The younger man released a heavy breath turning to the small barred window where the pale woman was rooted, her eyes daggers as she quietly observed.  
He turned to the battered dirt-encrusted man trembling behind her trying to call to mind the face on the Imperial holograms in the city, tried to see past the wisps of hair and fearful face to find a resemblance. He honestly couldn't tell. But they'd made no mention of this wild looking woman, though from her tattered shirt and slacks he knew she'd been no more than a slave - a labor worker. Her absence wouldn't be noticed.  
"Are you the pilot?" he asked. The man didn't look up. "Hey-are you the pilot? The shuttle pilot?" He tried reaching a hand through the bars to shake him by the shoulder, to jog him out of the daze he was in, but she was quick to grab his arm forcing him back. "Who are you?" he demanded, wondering how much she knew of this planet-killer.

"Doesn't matter," was her unapproachable response. There was a faint accent to her voice, a fluidity to it revealing the wasted years as a slave to the Empire, and that she was able to retain the flat accent she'd been brought up with revealed a small stubborn defiance.

He sized her up, found his first impression had been wrong. She was small yes, weak no. Her grip on his wrist when she'd caught it had felt strong as any shackle and he knew, the next hand to reach beyond those bars would be broken. There'd be no more warnings. "I am Cassian Andor," he bid her, softening his tone and face to appear inviting. Kneeling so as to level himself with her, to not be above her. Trustworthy. But she would not be moved, not by him.

But behind her came a whispered groan, a timid unsure thing. "Pi-lot?" Cassian watched hope flash in her eyes before she turned.  
Chirrut spoke softly. "What's wrong with him?"  
Cassian could only shake his head as he watched the girl settle once more facing the three men opposite her, a fire still alight in her eyes but it had dimmed and her brows had creased. This was grieving her. "Bodhi Rook?" he asked recalling the name from the holograms, thinking maybe it would jar something in him.

But the shriveled man shut his eyes and shrank back. She looked almost as disappointed as Cassian felt, he was no good if he was broken. "Galen Erso," he tried next, trying to be gentle but even he heard the urgent clip to his tone. "You know that name?"

Eris felt him shrink again, this time to pull away from her. His breathing grew loud and quick, short little bursts of air like a hound's panting. This was the first true response he'd shown since Saw Gerrera had taken him. Forsaking the others she slid to the floor kneeling in front of him watching his pained face. "Bodhi?"

His eyes opened. Everything was a wet blur unable to make out more than smudges and color. He could see yellow. Yellow and Galen Erso. A memory struck him, a yellow-headed girl huddled behind Galen's slightly broader shoulders glaring untrusting and bitter, and mutely afraid. Another memory: she'd looked to him and taken his hand. Another: a weapon that could destroy an entire planet, it wasn't a trick or a dream, it was real as was the danger and he could do this – he could do right. "I brought the message," he said, though still uncertain. "I'm the pilot."

With the drying of his eyes his vision began to clear. Clarity, he found, was her freckled face, that too full mouth, those grim blue eyes, and her messy yellow hair. And she was staring up at him with the same yearning look in her eye as when she'd taken his hand in the shuttle, when she'd let him lead her, when the first choice she may have ever made had been to choose him. She had more faith in him than he'd ever had in himself. "I'm the pilot."

For what seemed like the first time in the entirety of her weary life, Eris smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

His mind was messy, scrambled, tangled in knots he couldn't untie. There was a man with a thick accent he might've heard somewhere before asking him endless questions with words he couldn't quite grasp. He pulled partial sentences from torn thoughts and gave them to the man for him to make sense of.

"Enough," Eris exclaimed, her voice firm and unyielding. "Can't you see it's hurting him?"

Cassian released a heavy breath looking from the broken man to his infuriating keeper. "Do you not understand: planet-killer," he asked exasperated and desperate. How far he'd come for this pilot, this mission had to be worth it. But so far he hadn't gotten more than Galen Erso was stationed on Eadu. "This is a mat-"

"I said enough!" The words flew from her mouth loud and harsh scratching the back of her throat, silencing him with her vehemence.

A moment Cassian took observing her stony face before he turned away scowling. She would allow no more. Whoever she was, she was a hindrance to him and he wanted to be rid of her. Glancing back he saw her facing the pilot and paused, noticing for the first time the desperation in which the other man stared at her – as if she were the only thing that made sense to him.

…

She was real. Bodhi could convince himself of this because he could feel her warm legs pressed against his own, because her sudden frightening command still echoed in his ear. She wasn't a trick, Bor Gullet hadn't taken her or contrived her - she was real. And he stared the way a drowning man clung to a piece of driftwood, afraid if he let go everything would be lost. Eris. Her name was Eris, and she was his. He could still hear her gentle whisper calling his name.

"Bodhi?" She didn't know what was going on in his head, only that his constant staring was unnerving. His mind was stuck on something and she couldn't shake the feeling it might be her. It wasn't fair. He'd only wanted to do the right thing, this boy who lived like an apology. And he'd been broken for it.  
Eris may not have been the best behaved slave, she may have started fights out of nothing more than boredom and anger, but she'd been a good worker. If left alone long enough there wasn't anything she couldn't fix. A fluttering warmth rose in her chest, it always did when she looked at broken things. The overwhelming, suffocating, need to put things back to together, to make them work, to make them whole again. Whole in a way she didn't think she'd ever be.

She leaned forward chest pressed to his bent legs, her chin on his knee and her forehead against his shoulder. "Can you hear me?" she asked, her voice a hushed breath drawing him closer until she felt the hair on his chin prickling against her cheek.

"Yes." It sounded more a question, but it was a response all the same.

A moment she stayed warming him, sharing his air. "You're gonna be alright," she told him softly. "I don't know when, but one day. I," she took a breath fighting the urge to withdraw, to curl herself away and keep him at arms lengths because everyone she'd ever known had at one point caused her pain. But some people had to be worth it, that's what love was wasn't it. "I'll make it okay. I promise." She raised her head meeting his dark glistening eyes, for once free of fear. "You understand?"

He blinked wetting his lashes. For a second his mind untangled. His answer was the timid brush of his thumb over her cheek, tracing a freckled constellation only he could make out. Even when his mind fell apart again he held onto her promise, she'd make it okay.

And then the world began shaking, deep at its root, causing a trembling in their bones. Eris was on her feet in an instant, a hand grasping at his collar in case she needed to move him but mostly to comfort herself. Her eyes were on the ceiling watching for it to crack blinking dust and sand out of her stinging eyes. She counted the seconds, ten, twenty, a minute. It'd stop soon, it had to stop right?

A loud metallic creak had her turning to see Cassian rushing out of his cell, the two men slower to follow as the larger one grabbed the other. Eris turned to the grate on the wall sure she could kick it in, and they were both small enough to fit through.  
The shaking rattled something in Bodhi, pieces clicked. He moved to the barred door thinking someone would let them out, they wouldn't be left here buried under rubble. It couldn't end that way.

"Where are you going?" the man with the unassuming face and kinder voice called as Cassian ran off, though he was looking the wrong way.

"I've got to find Jyn," he answered looking back to them. "You get the pilot, we need him. Then if you want a ride out of here, meet me up top."

Yes, someone would let them out. For a moment Bodhi felt relief. "I'll get the pilot," a low scornful voice seethed. Bodhi found himself looking at a hulk of a man with scars etched into his savage face. The man raised a blaster cannon level with Bodhi's chest, his heart stuttered – he wasn't relieved anymore.

"Wait!" Bodhi cried stepping back. "No…"

Eris turned in a rush of panic and defense seeing Bodhi curling into himself as if to brace a terrible blow, behind him and the bars she saw the angry scarred man weapon in hand. Without hesitation she threw herself against Bodhi, her arms wrapped tight around his hunched shoulders, her hair falling over his back like a thin drape. If a blow came she'd bear the brunt of it.

The high whir of blaster fire made her flinch pulling Bodhi tighter, her last thought was a curse to the man she'd never liked the look of. Before confusion. Eris and Baze shared a long heavy glare as she stood heaving wrapped over the trembling pilot. The cell door slid open, the control panel beside it scorched and sparking.

She was faced with another choice, one that needed to be made quick – take their chances and run or stick with this group who had a way off the planet. Taking a steadying breath she reached her decision and straightened bringing Bodhi with her. There was a brief awareness that had him turning with eyes at realizating he was flush against her breast. But it passed as she grabbed his sleeve and pulled him after her.

They raced through the stone hallways weaving through masses of panicked bodies, Eris willfully shoved Saw's people aside not caring for their safety. She only turned once when Bodhi was torn for her grasp and she came to a halt searching faces that looked a lot like their captors to find Bodhi pressed against a wall as people pushed passed him.

One step and he'd be shoved to the ground and trampled. So he flattened himself against the shaking wall flinching at every sharp elbow, at every heavy body nearly throwing him off balance. Eventually there'd be no one else and he could walk freely, if the stone above him didn't crumble from the quaking and crush him first. A flash of yellow and he almost smiled, of course she'd come back for him. Her face was set in determination, brows knitted, mouth a thin line, eyes flashing enraged at having lost him in the first place. A terrible angel she was knocking people aside as she hurried against the flow, her cruel hands parting the swarming sea. Bodhi watched eyes wide unblinking as a man grabbed her – to shove her, to save her, friend or foe they'd never know. She whirled toward the stranger and slammed his head against the wall – Bodhi thought he heard his skull crack, but that had to have been a trick.

Those same cruel hands latched onto his arm and dragged him forward, holding his fragile wrist both firm and gentle. He trusted her hands. The world was shuddering beneath them and for a moment he almost felt safe, if only in her grasp.

Eris urged him faster, quickening her pace at the sight of the soft man's staff and the larger one close at his side pulling him much the same way Eris pulled Bodhi. Shouldering past a woman Eris leapt over the threshold and out into the wide expanse of the cold desert, feeling space in a way she never had before as she stood without walls around her. Only an ever darkening horizon.

Her hold on Bodhi slipped the same time her mind caught up to what her eyes were seeing, and she continued several strides before slowly coming to an awed stop. Her neck craned as she looked to the sky seeing what looked to be a wave of sand and fire rising higher as it raced toward them carried on a howling wind. For a moment she reverted to the child she'd once been when she still thought the world beautiful, but sense returned with the blinking of her wet eyes and all she saw was horror. This was the message Bodhi had risked his life for, this was the danger he'd deemed worth the cost.

She turned to the figure on her left expecting Bodhi and instead found Baze's battle-hardened face, though his dark heavy eyes glistened with pain. This was his home, Eris supposed that meant something. She followed the end of his finger to see a ship racing against the current of the storm – their ride out of there. Turning back to Baze she met his firm stare and the two shared a curt nod. But where Baze wrapped an arm around Chirrut ushering him toward the ship, Eris turned wildly searching for Bodhi's small form.

After the initial shock of seeing the Holy City was a cloud of fiery sand he'd been struck with the crushing horror at realizing he was too late. This was his fault. Upon hearing a screaming boom separate from the thunderous rumble of the storm he'd turned to see U-wing transport, but instead of hope he only felt more defeated. Because what was the point, they'd already lost.

An open palm struck his arm with a stinging slap followed by an urgent, "move!"

Bodhi thought he recognized the man and his accent, the dark haired woman held at his side was unknown to him. But what was the point.

"Bodhi."

It was impossible he heard her, the thundering around them was too great and her voice too soft. And yet still he turned finding her only a few steps down the hill from him, the wind whipping her blonde hair over her face. But he could see flashes of her eyes, that striking blue – there wasn't fear, no urgency of her own as the world crumbled around them. She was steady, strong, choosing once again to follow him. From what he'd seen of her, and he hadn't seen much, she had such dispassion for the world – but she looked at him like he mattered. With such utter faith he wondered momentarily if he might. As the ground beneath his feet shook, he remembered why he was doing this.

Eris saw a timid strength alight in his wide dark eyes and she held a hand out to him. He didn't hesitate, and neither did she.  
She'd been labeled a runner when she was young, before she understood slaves weren't allowed to run. She'd always been good at it, at the mad race of her heart to keep up, the burning in her chest when her lungs couldn't. This was what it meant to be alive, this was free.

And she ran. Ran as the planet crumbled and raged around them. She hauled Bodhi after her pumping her legs too fast for him to compete, but he didn't stumble. Cassian and the woman with him wildly leapt through the door scraping their knees as they tumbled inside. She and Bodhi were only a couple handfuls of steps behind, given more land she may have outpaced them. But they didn't have more land, they didn't have more time, what they had wasn't enough. They weren't gonna make it.

Eris would; she was faster and stronger, but more than that she was closer to the rising ledge. It was Bodhi who wouldn't. He'd been her first choice, it seemed fitting for him to be her last. "Jump!" she screamed over the roar of the dying world and the engine of the ship.

So he did. But his quaking legs failed him, he'd been too far behind her. He lost his breath as he hit the edge, feeling a strong pair of hands on his legs thrusting him up and into the ship.

He was in, he'd be fine. She could breathe knowing that, she could die.


	5. Chapter 5

It wasn't her willingness to die for the pilot, dying was easy. It was her fight. She played the role of protector, mother, caretaker, captain and servant. Devotion, that is what saved her. Baze had seen it clearly. He grabbed at whatever he could, which happened to be a fistful of her shirt that rose and caught under her chin, and tossed her into the ship before closing the cabin door.

Her knees hit the floor with a dull clang, then her shoulders, and her head. She rolled a few feet before she came to a sprawled stop on her back, a limp arm outstretched as she faced the door. She blinked dazed staring out of a small slitted window seeing the world outside was on fire.

As the cabin lurched and swayed that same ruthless hand grabbed her again hauling her into a chair while he clutched at support struts standing over her. "Easy Baze," said a gentler voice along with a compassionate hand to pat her knee apologetically. But he did not turn to her fully. "Did you break from the Empire as well?"

She didn't answer. Instead she leaned forward trying to see his half-turned face, finding his unseeing milky stare. Her lack of response, coupled with the question, had both Baze and the other woman looking to Eris both curious and suspicious as they glanced at the insignia embroidered on her now ripped sleeve. They watched her raise a hand, causing Baze to shift behind her so as to grab her again, and pass it across Chirrut's field of view.  
"What's wrong with your eyes?"

A deep rumble sounded in the man behind her but Chirrut smiled at the innocence in her question. "You have never seen a blind man?" He waited for an answer he knew wouldn't come, having caught a faint scent when she'd waved her hand in front of his face. There was something in her clothes, hidden beneath the warm smell of Jedha's sun on her skin, a stale airlessness from years spent trapped behind four walls. He knew what she'd been. "What is your name?" he asked softening his voice.

"Eris," was her small uneasy reply.

The lurching of the cabin kept him from smiling again but he held his out and waited. Her hand was a small calloused thing as she timidly placed her hand in his. "It is nice to meet you Eris," he bid her with mild warmth. "I am Chirrut." He heard a breath draw between her lips in a manner he knew to be a coming response, but no words came. He sighed, having wanted to ask her what happened, to ask what she'd seen.  
No person saw the same world, Baze's was bitter and angry, Jyn's was jaded and shifting, Cassian's was opportunity – but there was something almost childlike in Eris' naiveté. Hers was a world he wanted to see because it would be honest.

But instead she slipped from his grasp turning for the pilot she realized was no longer there. Her pale stare raked over every bare space and corner passing indifferently over Jyn's huddled form and Baze's defensive one. Moving around the broad watchful man she saw the cockpit where between the two pilot's chairs stood Bodhi. Releasing a breath that unwound her tense shoulders she covered the short length of the walkway and stopped behind him catching sight of the droid next to Cassian.

Whether it was the sharp lurch of the u-wing as they jumped into hyperspace or because Bodhi was still unsteady, he was thrown backward. Where he should've fallen to the cold metal floor he fell against a warm chest, though equally as unyielding as she bore his weight without falter. He looked behind him, brushing the tip of his nose against her brow, met her careful stare and offered what he thought was a smile but even he could feel the way it quivered. Her response was her immobility, she didn't right him, didn't push off of her. And so he stayed with his back against her, her chin coming to rest on his shoulder as they watched the stars bleed.

"How'd you get him?" she asked, her gaze continuing to drift the droid on her left. As if she expected him to rise and inform her she'd broken regulation and would be taken to her master.

Cassian turned having not known she was there, that she'd even made it. He almost regretted it, he knew nothing of her save the Imperial marking on her shoulder – though he noticed then it'd been ripped revealing her pale freckled skin. But he saw, in a glance, the way the pilot leaned against her as if seeking refuge and the way she let him. There was a need in her, one very similar to Jyn's. "It's a long story," he said turning back to the consol, trusting her loyalty to Bodhi for the time being.

"That's not what I asked," came her simple, toneless response.

He turned back to her sharply meeting her hard eyes with his own edged stare. "He is reprogrammed," he replied, giving the answer he thought she wanted.

But she gave a flat, unamused, "I figured." She watched the muscles in his jaw grind as he turned away, covering the earpiece as if she would've heard. All it did was make her aware he was receiving orders, and after a taste of freedom Eris was almost too content with falling back into the pattern of being controlled.

Cassian chanced a glance over his shoulder to find in place of her expressionless face the back of her head as she followed the pilot back into the cabin. "Understood," he bid, accepting the order to continue the mission. Removing the comm unit Cassian looked to K2. "Do you think we can trust her?" he asked, knowing K2 would've assessed that very thing as soon as he realized there was an unknown person with them.

"There's a 28% chance she will turn on us," he answered without pause.

It turned Cassian's head in surprise and he asked, "so low?"

K2 dipped his head in a nod. "My calculations would have been lower but I included the probability of her needing to betray us to save him."

Taking a moment to consider that he stood moving around his chair, seeing her yellow hair where she leaned against the wall observing each member in the cabin. "And the likelihood she would go against him?" he asked expecting a number even lower than the first. But at the droid's continued silence he turned to see K2's optic sensors shifting back and forth as he processed.

Finally K2 looked up and answered, "that does not compute."

It was an answer Cassian didn't expect, the droid had probabilities for every situation. But he nodded and told K2 to set a course for Eadu before moving to the cabin, stepping around her to do so. Their eyes met as she turned and he lowered his head a fraction as though to nod, as though in comradeship.

Eris watched him turn to a screen and she looked behind her at the droid left piloting them. She blinked, thoughts moving in her head without her actually thinking them. It had her turning back to Bodhi assessing the people around him and which was more likely to do harm, reaching the conclusion that at the moment Baze was content to stand beside his unseeing friend. What had he called himself? She couldn't remember.

Quietly she retreated to the cockpit where she stood behind the droid gazing out of the window, catching little bright streaks as they passed a star.

"This is lightspeed," the droid told her matter of fact, having picked up the quiet sound of her feet.

"I know," she answered drawing his eye as he awkwardly turned to see her. Seeing his angled contortion she stepped right leaning against the chair Cassian had once occupied so he could better see her, and she could better see him.

"I am finding it difficult to calculate what knowledge you possess."

She leaned her cheek against the side of the chair looking back to the window. "Good thing I didn't ask then," she mumbled.

K2 turned with a rush of irritability. "Was that meant to be a joke because I didn't find it amusing."

"If you want it to be," she shrugged. Turning her head she looked at the droid: he wasn't stiff, his sensors freely roamed her face, even his voice was unrestrained. He looked nothing like the droids she was used to, and she wondered if he remembered being an Imperial droid – if he might think and share the same thoughts she did. "I don't think I've ever used a joke before," she admitted honestly.

"You tell jokes, you don't use them," he corrected turning back to the controls. A few seconds he remained silent steering the u-wing before he peeked at her, finding her still appraising him. Quietly he told her, "I don't think I've used one either." She didn't soften all at once, but he saw the edge in her heavy stare dull, her knitted brow smooth slightly, her mouth twitching in a manner he knew meant she wanted to smile. This one was good, he decided. "It's 21% now."

Her head cocked curiously but she only huffed a laugh and turned to the raised voices behind her. "My father's message, I've seen it." Those words drew her near and she moved past Cassian, sparing him only the briefest of glances, before she stood with her back to wall closer to Baze but with the Alliance captain in her peripheral.

Eris listened as the other woman explained what she'd seen, about Galen Erso having rigged a trap instead the Death Star. This was the message Bodhi had been given.  
Eris thought of the aged life-weary man who'd noticed her cleaning around his workstation one day, had silently watched her without cruelty. He'd taken one look at her dirt-smudged sweaty face and asked what freedom was worth to her. As if the answer wasn't her life, as if anything was more freeing. That was all he'd needed to know she'd fight, to know she'd stay with the nervous pilot because freedom was a dream and after so long enslaved she needed someone to follow.  
Eris looked at Bodhi tucked into a corner his eyes downcast, still doubting himself. And she thought to herself, she'd follow him anywhere.

"You have that message, right?" Cassian asked beside her.

The woman darkened. "What do you think?"

Instead of answering Cassian turned to the pilot. "Did you see it?" When Bodhi shook his head he turned to yellow-headed girl and asked, "did you?"

Eris didn't know why she spoke, she owed him nothing. But she didn't like him, and he needed to know she wasn't there because it was the right thing so that maybe he'd stop being disappointed when she didn't cooperate. "Bodhi told me about it."

Cassian gave a breath of a laugh but he wasn't amused. Where as the pilot had betrayed the Empire risking his life to help the Republic she was there for the ride. He didn't trust K2's assessment, this girl would turn on them soon as she had the chance and she'd take the pilot with her. "I've half a mind to return you," he muttered low enough only those closest heard.

Her expression darkened and she tensed for a fight because if he didn't watch his tongue she'd gladly rip it out. A firm hand clamped on her shoulder and pulled her back pushing her into the chair beside Chirrut once more. She glowered as the Erso girl tried to make her case to a man who was deaf to everything but his own belief. He didn't trust her enough to believe her, that or his orders wouldn't allow it, he wouldn't be swayed by the possibility of destroying the Death Star, they wouldn't go to Scarif to retrieve the plans. Their course was set for Eadu, and Eris pondered why – if Galen Erso helped build the Death Star, and even if he had set a trap within it, the Republic didn't need anything else. Except his death.  
Reaching that conclusion she turned back to Cassian realizing he was a rebel spy, with his unreadable face and firm belief how could she have missed it. These were the rebels the Empire had cursed, ruthless murderers proclaiming casualties as a small price for a larger victory and called it patriotism. No, she didn't like him.

Feeling eyes on her Eris turned to see Bodhi staring. He didn't duck his head, didn't look away, didn't pretend like he hadn't been watching her. She'd scared him, that blackness in her eyes as Baze pulled her away from Cassian – it'd been the same black as when she'd killed the man on Jedha. At some point she'd learned how to kill. But he remembered drinking, of her gently wiping his mouth, she knew how to care.  
And so his fear passed, and he realized what she had the moment she'd taken his hand: she was his now. And honestly it was a lot of responsibility.

...

With Cassian back in the cockpit it was quiet again. With Bodhi called in to direct them to the base it was calm. Jyn used that time to look at the woman who'd come with the pilot, the one she honestly thought wouldn't make it when instead of jumping she'd turned to shove Bodhi into the shuttle. It was good to see she wasn't the only one Cassian didn't trust, that Jyn wasn't the only one who didn't trust him in kind. "So your name's Eris," she said simple and unwarm.

At her name Eris turned to the dark haired woman and studied her face, finding a similar guarded stare to her own. "Yes."

"I'm Jyn."

The two shared a nod before turning away, jostling in the wind-beaten ship. Baze appreciated the simple greeting and tapped Eris' shoulder rougher than he'd meant. "You should change," he said told her, nudging his head toward the cabinet above.

He was probably right, she figured rising to unsteady feet as the cabin jolted and rocked. Finding a tan jumper close enough in size she moved around Chirrut for the corner.

"It's very forward of you," he said hearing her hands still after removing her shirt, "to undress in front of a man."

Her eyes narrowed looking at the side of his face, because he didn't turn to her. "Thought you couldn't see," she remarked, making him smile.

Half finished with the buttons she heard Bodhi yelling, "Watch out!" She pivoted looking for him at the same time the wing of the ship clipped a stone ridge and she stumbled back. Throwing an arm out she caught the wall before her body hit and dug her heels in as she bore Chirrut's weight when he was thrown into her.  
Over the tumult of the now crashing ship she barely heard Cassian yelling to them, "hold on tight. We're coming in hard."

She righted Chirrut with a quick shove and moved around him toward cockpit, seeing Bodhi sprawled on the floor. The ship was angled at a steep decline and Eris didn't have to walk so much as slide on the slick metal toward him. Bodhi saw her coming, or at least saw her hair and knew it was her, and he sat up reaching for her thinking if it all ended there it might not be so bad. He wrapped his arms around her waist feeling her hands on his shoulders anchoring him to her as she turned slamming her back into the cabinet behind the pilot's chair bracing for the crash.

As the ship struck the planet surface and the hull screeched sliding on mud and rock threatening to shred beneath them, Eris saw white. A sharp piercing ringing set in her ears as she fought to regain the breath she'd lost when Bodhi, already held against her, was thrown further into her chest. He was pressed so close she thought she might've heard the creak of their bones scraping together, she thought he'd break her ribs - at least then she could give him her heart.

And then it was still, quiet save the pounding of rain of metal. The only thing pressing Bodhi against her was Eris herself, an arm strapped around his shoulders, the other cradling his head against her chest. She breathed, coughed, and breathed again relaxing against the cabinet unwinding her stiff legs. "You okay?" she asked breathlessly.

He nodded enjoying the warmth of her encircling him, the warmth that came with her being faced with death a second time and again choosing him. He wished there'd been more time for him to know her, to give more reason to why he was feeling what he did. To explain why it meant so much to him that he could feel the soft skin of her chest against his cheek from where her shirt wasn't buttoned, and why he honestly wouldn't mind if they never moved. But what he ended up saying was, "you changed." His face warmed.

Lowering her eyes she saw the collar of her shirt was opened slightly, half his face against her breastbone. "Yeah," was her answer. She looked around the cabinet sharing a look with Cassian, who wasn't surprised to find she'd risked injury to keep the pilot safe. "Is that it?"  
At his nod she climbed to her feet, feeling something in her back pop as she stretched. Helping Bodhi up she leaned closer to him and whispered firmly, "don't think I didn't catch that."  
She moved past him leaving him to stare after her timid and wide eyed.


End file.
